Dial K for Killian
by onceuponajollyroger
Summary: Emma gives Killian a cellphone so the two can stay in touch while she is out of town. A Killian vs. Technology one-shot with some cute Captain Swan and Captain Cobra moments.


"I got you something today," Emma said with a hint of excitement in her voice.

Killian gave her a surprised look before replying. "I didn't know we were exchanging presents, Swan. What's the occasion?"

"No occasion, and it isn't really a gift per se, more of a necessity. It's a cellphone. I'm going out of town for a few days, and you'll need a phone so we can stay in touch," Emma explained.

Killian furrowed his eyebrows before responding. "No need really, Swan. Why don't I just accompany you?"

Killian and Emma certainly weren't a couple who had to be by each other's sides every second, but given their history, Killian was weary of her leaving town without him. They'd been separated in different realms for a year. They had battled giants, witches, and the sociopathic pan-child. Killian didn't like the idea of Emma leaving Storybrooke without him.

Emma's response brought him out of his thoughts. "I wish you could. I really do, but it's a class for work," she began. Emma really wasn't looking forward to the class. Sheriffs across the state were required to meet at the capitol to take a class overviewing new regulations and policies. With the curse broken and Storybrooke officially on the map, Emma had no choice but to attend. She continued, "I'd prefer to just stay home. I have to go, but-" before she could finish, Killian cut in.

"Dave's going though, right? I mean, you won't be alone, will you?" he asked concern etched on his face.

Ah, that's why he was acting weird. He was nervous. Well, considering everything they had been through, she couldn't blame him.

"Yes, David is going with me. Don't worry. I'll be fine. We can call and text each other while I'm gone. It might be pretty fun," she said nudging him with her elbow so he would return her smile.

After their conversation, Emma gave Killian a thorough lesson on how to operate the phone, which was an older phone with a pullout keyboard. She figured it would be simple enough to operate and that the keyboard would be convenient.

"Henry will help you if you need it," she said reassuringly. After all, Henry did spend a lot of time on his phone. Killian rolled his eyes at that suggestion. Even though he struggled with this realm's technology, he refused to admit it.

Emma looked down at him as he sat on the couch, toying with his phone. He was holding it upside down and pressing random buttons. As much as Emma was going to miss being with Killian, she secretly thought the worst part of the class would be missing the amusing sight of Killian Jones figuring out his cellphone.

* * *

Emma left early the next morning. She had only been gone for a few hours, but Killian already missed her dearly. He was eager to find a way to while away the hours until her return. Killian's first instinct was to turn to books. He had passed much of his time in Neverland with reading. Over his incredibly long life, he had easily read hundreds and hundreds of books. He scanned through the books on the bookshelf of his and Emma's apartment before landing on a book of fairy tales. Henry often referred to Killian and the others from the Enchanted Forest as "fairy tale characters," so perhaps this book would enlighten him on this realm's opinions and thoughts on fairy tales. Killian pulled _The Complete Fairy Tales of Hans Christen Anderson_ from the shelf before settling in on the couch to read. He made it through three stories quite entertained and intrigued by the tales of this realm before he stumbled across _The Ugly Duckling_. That sounded like an interesting story, he mused, before delving into the tale. Killian enjoyed the tale right up until the end when the ugly duckling turned into a "beautiful swan." He sighed. _Beautiful swan_. He missed _his_ beautiful swan. He shut the book loudly and returned it to the shelf. Reading had not been a good idea.

Killian decided that the enchanted box would serve as a pleasant distraction while Emma was away. Swan always corrects him and calls it a "T-V" when he calls it a box, but he thinks it is most definitely enchanted.

He went over the steps in his head that Emma had taught him. To turn it on he would need the magic wand. For the first few weeks that he lived with Emma, he would always insist on Emma yielding the wand to bring the box to life. Emma would sigh and chastise him, insisting that the box was not magical and that he himself could brandish the wand. "R-e-m-o-t-e, Killian, it's a remote," she would say. The sudden rush of memories made him miss Emma more, so he decided against the TV after all and opted to test his phone skills instead.

Killian had practiced the day before with Robin. When Emma told Regina she bought Killian a phone, the mayor had decided that her own bandit could use a bit of this realm's technology. Killian and Robin had proceeded to venture all over town, calling each other from different locations in Storybrooke. Swan had been right: the phone seemed to work no matter where they were. Killian and Robin decided to eat lunch at opposite ends of Granny's as they chatted on the phone to each other, giggling like children. Their fun was cut short when an exasperated Emma and Regina caught them.

Killian pulled out his cellphone and pressed the 1 button just as Emma had told him. Emma mentioned something in passing about programming numbers as "speed dial," but Killian didn't know what that meant. All he knew was that he had a piece of paper where Emma had written out: "1: Emma, 2: David, 3: Henry, 4: Mary Margaret, 5: Robin, 6: Regina" and that he was to press those numbers and wait for the ringing to end and the person with the other phone to answer.

Killian waited for Emma to answer her phone, but was met with her voicemail instead. He left his message, but then forgot how to end the call. He had to "hang up" the phone, but where did he have to hang it again? These phones were more trouble than they were worth, he thought. He held the phone in his hand, shaking it in hopes of it turning off, when he heard a knock on the door. Killian opened the door to see Henry's face beaming back at him. "Ah, hello Henry. I'm glad you're here. Can you help me with this text calling thing?"

Henry shook his head with an amused smile on his face. "Killian, the phone is still on," he said pointing at the phone, which still had Emma's name on the screen.

"What!" Killian said with exasperation. Seriously, he was going to get rid of this phone once Emma returned.

"You have to hang it up-"

"Hang it up where," Killian asked, irritation oozing off his voice.

Henry burst into a fit of giggles before snatching the phone from Killian and clicking the end call button. "I'll help you with texting. That maybe a little easier than phone calls. Then can we go sailing? I promised Roland we could all go sometime."

"Sure lad," Killian replied his past irritation gone. Ever since Killian and Emma had begun dating and Killian had spent more time with Henry, he had grown quite fond of the lad. Henry was a fast learner and quickly picked up on different sailing and navigation lessons Killian had been giving him over the past months.

Henry showed Killian how to scroll through his phone to find a "contact" and "text" them a message. Killian ended up balancing the phone on his hook and pressing the letters with his right index finger. Texting was far more effort than calling, but Henry insisted that texting was "way cooler" than calling people on the phone.

Killian selected Emma's name from his contacts and pecked out a simple "_I miss you_" before asking Henry how to send messages. Henry leaned over to look at the phone. He rolled his eyes at the message, letting out a sarcastic "Ew, gross," before pointing to the send button.

"Thanks lad. Alright, let's go. We'll stop by and pick up Roland on the way to the docks," Killian said as Henry bounced up with excitement. Killian decided to leave his phone behind, not wanting to lose it while he was busy sailing with the boys.

Henry looked down again at Killian's phone. "You know, texting would be much easier if mom had gotten you a smartphone."

Killian gave him a confused look. Now he had really had it with this realm's technology. "How the blazes can a talking contraption have intelligence, lad?" he asked completely dumbfounded.

Henry shook his head taking a minute to school his features. Killian wouldn't want to go sailing if Henry kept laughing at him. "Never mind, Killian. Let's go."

* * *

The figure of a large man with an obnoxious mustache became more and more blurry as her eyes started to drift closed and her head began to slowly drop down to her desk. Emma felt like a child in school again, falling asleep in a boring class. David kept quietly coughing throughout the class in an attempt to bring his daughter out of her sleepy state, but it was no use. Seriously, the man had been droning on and on about…What was the talking about again? Emma had no idea. Just as her head hit her hand and her eyes closed tightly, the soft buzz of her phone roused her. She inconspicuously pulled her phone out of her pocket to see that she had a text from Killian. Emma smiled proudly, imaging that Henry and Killian must be together now if Killian had managed to send her a text.

She texted him back a response, being sure to keep their conversation chaste just in case Henry ended up seeing the message while helping Killian again.

During a meal break from her class, Emma called Killian back, but he didn't answer. All she got was the voice message they had spent twenty minutes recording yesterday: "…_Alright, I'm finished. Now what do I click?_" Killian's voice asked. "_Killian!_" her own voice groaned just before the beep sounded signally his voice message was over. Emma chuckled at the silly message before hanging up. She knew Killian was far from learning how to check his voicemail. She would call him again later.

That night, after a long day of boring classes on seatbelt laws and the new process for booking criminals, Emma finally had a chance to lie in bed and relax. She pulled out her phone to check her voicemail, noticing that she had a message from Killian. Emma held the phone up to her ear, eager to hear his message.

"_Hi Emma, this is Killian. I tried calling you, but your phone made me talk to this message contraption. I'll call you later, lass. Love you. Killian." _Emma expected the message to end, but instead sheheard the distinct sound of knocking at the door followed by Killian's loud footsteps. "_Ah, hello Henry. I'm glad you're here. Can you help me with this text calling thing?" _Henry's voice started, "_Killian the phone is still on." _Killian interrupted, "_What!" _Emma heard Henry's soft chuckle as he replied. "_You have to hang it up." _Killian let out a groan loud enough for the phone to pick up before he continued._ "Hang it from where?" _The message finally ended with the sound of Henry's giggles. Emma's heart swelled.

Emma was laughing so hard tears were rolling down her face. "Dad, come listen to this message," Emma said between a fit of her own giggles.

* * *

Emma called Killian that night and the following morning. Emma had to admit she was pleased that he learned to work the phone as quickly as she did. From their experiences with the TV, she expected the phone to be a nightmare. Emma shook her head, attempting to push the thoughts of Killian with the TV from her mind. During lunch of the second and last day of the conference, Emma received a picture message from Killian. What in the hell? There was no way Killian was able to learn how to send her picture messages. She clicked on the message to find a picture of Killian's hook along with the attached text "_or would you prefer another attachmen_t?" She chuckled and rolled her eyes. Henry must have taught him to take pictures with his phone.

The second day of Emma's conference was much for interesting than the first. For starters, Killian had become much better at texting, so the two sent messages back and forth throughout the day earning her disapproving looks from David. Emma actually found it quite amusing. She was often scolding Henry for texting during inappropriate times, and here she was acting like a lovesick teenager who couldn't stop texting her boyfriend.

Emma and David drove back to Storybrook early the following day. Upon her return to Storybrooke, Emma made her way to meet Killian and Henry at Granny's for a late breakfast. Before she could enter the establishment, Regina walked up from the other side of the street and called to Emma.

"Miss Swan, I'm going to need you to have a chat with that pirate of yours," she said in an annoyed voice.

Emma rolled her eyes and sighed. "What did he do now?" she asked, a note of worry in her voice. Last time Regina and Emma had this conversation was after Killian taught Henry how to cheat at cards, which resulted in the dwarves losing quite a bit of money and then complaining to Regina.

"Apparently Henry thought it would be amusing to teach Killian how to send picture messages on his phone," Regina began.

"Yes, I noticed that," Emma said with a curious stare. She didn't quite see what the problem was.

"Yes, well, Miss Swan, I now have five pictures of Killian's hook on my phone the message 'Arrrrggg' accompanying them all." Regina shot her a glare.

Emma bit her lip tightly trying desperately not to laugh. "I'll have a talk with him," she said, a stray giggle escaping, which she quickly disguised as a cough.

Getting Killian a phone had been a great idea after all.


End file.
